Back to Thinking out Loud 

Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces

Unknown Author

Most people are well intentioned.

Most people have our best interests at heart.

But only we know what is truly right for us.  And it can be tempting when we feel unsure, or inadequate, to let someone else who wants to ‘protect’ us, to tell us what we need to do.

In the short term, it seems to quell the anxiety of the moment.  When we are struggling with decisions and making choices, our anxiety levels go way up.  Giving someone else permission to tell you what you should do is actually an act of abandoning yourself.

By all means, seek support.  Absolutely, discuss your situation with trusted people.  However, if this morphs into you following someone else’s way of doing things, you are going off track.  Don’t try to wear someone else’s shoes.  Wear your own, tie your laces in a way that makes the shoe a good fit for you.

A lot of people look at this quote and immediately go into a mode of defensiveness against other people trying to control us.  Nobody psychologically controls us unless we first abandon ourselves (this is often an unconscious act).  And remember, with the best will in the world, even if someone has been in shoes that are very similar to yours, they’re still not your feet.  Only you know what’s the right fit for your feet.

Free 15 Minutes Conversation

The idea of starting therapy may be daunting, so please feel free to avail of the free 15-minute conversation which will give you a chance to talk with me, ask questions and become clearer if therapy seems like the right choice for you.
Book Now 
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram